Madness is never that far away. It’s as close as saying yes to the wrong impulse.
Riddle me this, riddle me that. Who’s afraid of the big black bat?
I love stories about teachers. For some reason I can’t get enough of those kind of stories. If I turn a movie on about a teacher, I love it. I love that idea of an adult influence on kids.
Until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass.
Not hope, but Faith. I don’t believe in hope. Hope is a beggar.
I don’t feel any pressure to be funny at all. I’m funny because I want to be funny. I could sit here and be serious for an hour and you would go away and make me much funnier than I am.
The era of ‘yes’ has begun.
Come back here so that I may brain thee!
Green Eggs and Ham was the story of my life. I wouldn’t eat a thing when I was a kid, but Dr. Seuss inspired me to try cauliflower!
I love acting. I love play-acting. I love pretending. I love telling stories so whether they be comedic or serious or whatever, it doesn’t really matter to me. I enjoy telling a good story. I have it all in me.
When I started out. I’d drive a hundred miles to do my act for free.
But I refuse to believe that I am a better actor than myself.
If I’m not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer.
I’m not a bible thumper, I’m not any of that stuff, but I do believe that the force is with us.
I laugh at mistakes. I laugh at how you recover from mistakes.
I enjoy my life. The fame part of it freaked me out for a little while, and there are definitely times when it’s not so great to be special and known by everybody – you know, when you’re wearing the wrong thing, or just in a vulnerable place. But I’m good with my life now.
My father used to brag that I wasn’t a ham, I was the whole pig.
I like to enjoy life, I like to engage in life, so I would say I’m a yes man.
But, you know, you can’t be a star at home.
I absolutely want to have a career where you make’em laugh and make’em cry. It’s all theater.