I try to only eat animals that are vegan. I’m probably the opposite of a vegan.
I’ve always wanted to be an actor. I’ve never planned on the acting and the stand-up feeding each other; they’ve always been separate desires.
Most of my material is, it doesn’t necessarily involve a lot of editing. So even the show with the World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia, I don’t have to worry about some of the material being inappropriate.
My whole comic persona is that of a guy who explores the id: I romanticize gluttony, I romanticize laziness, and people identify with that.
Comics write to their point of view. If you’re an exceedingly irreverent comedian, you’ve got to see where that point of view fits or produces the most funny.
I don’t know, I find that honestly, the stand-up thing in some ways is a little bit of a cliche to carry around, because people don’t consider stand-ups really actors.
I’m a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent.
I would say I’m – in the show, I’m a cultural Catholic, which is what I was.
Kale is a superfood and it’s special power is tasting bad.
It’s good to be back in New York. I have lived here ten years. I’m originally from Indiana. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana: Mafia. But the fact of the matter is where I grew up there was something very similar to the Mafia: 4-H.
Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?
You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?
Meredith Baxter Birney gets beaten by a rod, in the Lifetime Original, Rod.
I am somebody who – my path to my faith is very kind of individual, and I don’t want to be lumped into the category of those Westboro Baptists.
Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it’s what inspires you.
But in Indiana it’s not like New York where everyone’s like, ‘We’re from New York and we’re the best’ or ‘We’re from Texas and we like things big’ it’s more like ‘We’re from Indiana and we’re gonna move.’
Actually, the reason I look like this is because my father was from Sweden and my mother was Elton John.
My faith is very personal. It’s not something that I want to project on other people.
Babies should be classified as an antidepressant. It’s pretty hard to be in a bad mood around a 5-month-old baby.
I worked on ‘USA Today’ as a topic for while. I tried to do something on hand chairs, chairs that look like hands. I really tried. But some topics are not truly universal.