If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.
Nothing agrees with me. If I drink coffee, it gives me dyspepsia; if I drink wine, it gives me the gout; if I go to church, it gives me dysentery.
If you have nothing to say, say nothing.
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually waste away, and eventually die.
Citizenship is what makes a republic – monarchies can get along without it.
The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the characters; the good to succeed, the bad to fail. The trouble with most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell, together, as quickly as possible.
Diligence is a good thing, but taking things easy is much more restful.
I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.
In literature imitations do not imitate.
But in this country we have one great privilege which they don’t have in other countries. When a thing gets to be absolutely unbearable the people can rise up and throw it off. That’s the finest asset we’ve got – the ballot box.
I have carried a revolver; lots of us do, but they are the most innocent things in the world.
It is hopeless for the occasional visitor to try to keep up with Chicago-she outgrows his prophecies faster than he can make them. She is always a novelty; for she is never the Chicago you saw when you passed through the last time.
So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.
I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.
Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.
You can’t break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You’ve got to walk it slowly down the stairs.
A sin takes on a new and real terror when there seems a chance that it is going to be found out.
Carlyle said ‘a lie cannot live.’ It shows that he did not know how to tell them.
There are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars.
A pilot must have a memory developed to absolute perfection. But there are two higher qualities which he also must have. He must have good and quick judgment and decision, and a cool, calm courage that no peril can shake.