I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts.
Our opinions do not really blossom into fruition until we have expressed them to someone else.
Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information.
If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance, and hit him with a brick.
A few fly bites cannot stop a spirited horse.
We recognize that there are no trivial occurrences in life if we get the right focus on them.
In Boston they ask, how much does he know? In New York, how much is he worth? In Philadelphia, who were his parents?
An honest politician is an oxymoron.
One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke.
You can’t pray a lie – I found that out.
Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool.
It takes a heap of sense to write good nonsense.
We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the different countries, so that we can “show off” and astonish people when we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with our strange foreign fashions which we can’t shake off.
The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn’t it be? – it is the same the angels breathe.
A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch.
While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
Now what I contend is that my body is my own, at least I have always so regarded it. If I do harm through my experimenting with it, it is I who suffer, not the state.
He liked to like people, therefore people liked him.
It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.
I’m glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.