Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!
Life has a tendency to obfuscate and bewilder, Such as fating us to spend the first part of our lives being embarrassed by our parents and the last part being embarrassed by our children.
You are much happier when you are happy than when you ain’t.
I’d rather be a great bad poet than a good bad poet.
The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
Every new year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals?
I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.
Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
Progress might have been all right once, but it’s gone on too long.
There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, ‘Why pick on my eyes? It’s my heart that dictates my decision.’
They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they’ve heard of unemployment and they’ve heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.
And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more.
Good wine needs no bush, and perhaps products that people really want need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot.
The dog is man’s best friend. He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath.
So Columbus said, somebody show me the sunset and somebody did and he set sail for it, And he discovered America and they put him in jail for it, And the fetters gave him welts, And they named America after somebody else.
At another year I would not boggle Except that when I jog I joggle.
Some one invented the telephone, And interrupted a nation’s slumbers, Ringing wrong but similar numbers.
All that glitters is sold as gold.
Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it.
Indeed, everybody wants to be a wow, But not everybody knows exactly how.