Shake and shake The catsup bottle. None will come, And then a lot’ll.
The noblest lord is ushered in By the practicing physician, And the humblest lout is ushered out By a certified mortician. And in between, they find their foyers Alive with summonses from lawyers.
The doctor gets you when you’re born, The preacher, when you marry, And the lawyer lurks with costly clerks If too much on you carry. Professional men, they have no cares; Whatever happens, they get theirs.
O money, money, money. I’m not necessarily one of those who think thee holy, but I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comest in so slowly.
I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.
Linguistics becomes an ever eerier area, like I feel like I’m in Oz, Just trying to tell it like it was.
We love the kindly wind and hail, The jolly thunderbolt, We watch in glee the fairy trail Of ampere, watt, and volt.
Time is so old and love so brief, love is pure gold and time a thief. We’re late, darling, we’re late, The curtain descends, everything ends, too soon, too soon.
A dressing is not a compote A dressing is not a custard It consists of pepper and salt, Vinegar, oil and mustard.
He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more.
In real life, it takes only one to make a quarrel.
A lady is known by the product she endorses.
Why did the Lord give use so much quickness unless it was to avoid responsibility?
Some people’s money is merited and other people’s is inherited.
And you stagger down to break your fast. Greasy bacon and lacquered eggs And coffee composed of frigid dregs.
The codfish is a staple food For which I’m seldom in the mood. This fish is such an utter loss That people eat it with egg sauce.
When there are monsters there are miracles.
Smallpox is natural; vaccine ain’t.
Middle-aged life is merry, and I love to lead it.
I believe that people believe what they believe they believe.