I think sometimes you get given a good pile of goodwill, and it’s whether you use it up in the first six months or spread it out over a career.
The truth doesn’t hurt. Whatever it is, it doesn’t hurt. It’s better to know the truth.
The next time someone is critical of you, just take a moment to consider their life. Then smile to yourself.
Being on the edge isn’t as safe, but the view is better.
Comedy and drama are different sides of the same coin. And the thing about comedy and drama is about likability. It’s about character first. It’s about story. And for me, it’s about empathy, and I think the realer someone is, the further you can go either way with them.
Dear Religion, This week I safely dropped a man from space while you shot a child in the head for wanting to go to school. Yours, Science.
Honor is a gift a man gives himself. You can be as good as anyone that ever lived. If you can read, you can learn everything that anyone ever learned. But you’ve got to want it.
Where there’s a will – there’s a relative!
You won’t burn in hell. But be nice anyway.
Got a proper job at 28. Gave it up to try comedy at 38. Decided to get fit and healthy at 48. It’s never too late. But do it now.
Why buy a book when you can join a library?
The existence of God is not subjective. He either exists or he doesn’t. It’s not a matter of opinion. You can have your own opinions. But you can’t have your own facts.
A Christian telling an atheist they’re going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they’re not getting any presents from Santa.
Opinions don’t affect facts. But facts should affect opinions, and do, if you’re rational.
If I do eat meat, it’s got to be ethical. I want to know that it lived a great life before it was killed humanely.
I don’t believe in about 2700 Gods. Christians don’t believe in 2699 Gods. They’re nearly as atheistic as me.
I don’t do anything for the money.
People have let me down in the past. I’ve loved something, and it’s become a disgrace. I’d rather start again.
Comedy is a medicine – a healing process that can help people get through difficult times and understand things better.
You are the result of billions of years of evolution. You will only live for a few years and will never exist again. Absolutely beautiful.