The world is not entirely comic and it’s not entirely dramatic. You have a laugh and then someone finds a lump and you deal with that. Because that is what life is like.
That’s the other thing I learned that day, that the truth, however shocking or uncomfortable, in the end leads to liberation and dignity.
With ‘The Office’ and ‘Extras’ I’ve always snuck in a little bit of heart and pathos – and drama, which is fun.
I never had a plan. I just sort of ambled along, doing exactly what I wanted every day of my life.
Piracy doesn’t kill music, boy bands do.
There’s no difference between fame and infamy now. There’s a new school of professional famous people that don’t do anything. They don’t create anything.
Whether you understand they evolved over billions of years or believe that a God made them all one afternoon, please be kind to animals.
Remember, no one can hurt your feelings without your permission.
I’ve got the attention span of a child.
I’m a militant fundamentalist atheist. I’m going to get on a crowded train, unbutton my coat and say rational things. People will be hurt.
Being honest is what counts. To make the ordinary extraordinary is so much better than starting with the extraordinary.
Celebrities, make it harder for hackers to get nude pics of you from your computer by not putting nude pics of yourself on the computer.
It breaks your heart when you throw something away, but it’s what left that counts. It’s like worrying about the bits of rock you have knocked off in order to make a beautiful statue. You’ve wasted half the rock, yeah, but it’s the Venus di Milo!
What will it feel like after you die? Exactly the same as it felt for those billions of years before you were born.
It will be great to play a short, fat sweaty loser for a change.
I remember one review of The Office Christmas Special that compared it unfavourably to Dickens. What? You’re saying I’m not as good as the greatest storyteller ever. Boo! Boo! I think I can live with that.
America champions the underdog. We champion the underdog until he’s not the underdog anymore, and he annoys us.
My greatest hero is Nelson Mandela. What a man. Incarcerated for 25 years, he was released in 1990 and he hasn’t reoffended. I think he’s going straight, which shows you prison does work.
Pol Pot – he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual or not was whether they wore glasses. If they’re that clever, take them off when they see him coming!
When someone thanks God, I don’t get offended.