Why buy a book when you can join a library?
A Christian telling an atheist they’re going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they’re not getting any presents from Santa.
Opinions don’t affect facts. But facts should affect opinions, and do, if you’re rational.
If I do eat meat, it’s got to be ethical. I want to know that it lived a great life before it was killed humanely.
I don’t believe in about 2700 Gods. Christians don’t believe in 2699 Gods. They’re nearly as atheistic as me.
I don’t do anything for the money.
People have let me down in the past. I’ve loved something, and it’s become a disgrace. I’d rather start again.
Comedy is a medicine – a healing process that can help people get through difficult times and understand things better.
You are the result of billions of years of evolution. You will only live for a few years and will never exist again. Absolutely beautiful.
You now have the least amount of time you’ve ever had, to do everything you’ve ever wanted to do. Enjoy your life. You only get one.
Popularity and democracy aren’t a judge, they’re just stats.
A joke isn’t yours. It’s used and you don’t know where it’s been.
My philosophy? Have a laugh for as long as you can and don’t get run over. Or stabbed.
No one wants to see cool people doing brilliantly. I want to see the struggle. That’s the fun bit.
Thank you God for making me an atheist.
I’m not from around these parts. I’m from a little place called England: we used to run the world before you.
I like my baths really deep and hot. But washing everything only takes a few minutes. So I thought it would be a waste to just flush all that water away. So there was nothing else to do but take pictures of myself trying to look as horrendous as possible. Oh my, what have I started?
My favourite shows of the year are House of Cards, the Scandinavian versions of The Killing and The Bridge, and my guilty pleasure is everything MMA. Ultimate Fighter is amazing.
If you pay attention to good critics, you have to listen to the bad. So you have to ignore them all really. You can’t just cherry pick the glowing ones.
Someone asked me what three things I would save if my house was on fire. I said my cat, my salamander and one of the twins.