Unlike religious people, I look at all religions equally.
Enjoy life. Have fun. Be kind. Have worth. Have friends. Be honest. Laugh. Die with dignity. Make the most of it. It’s all we’ve got.
It’s a strange myth that atheists have nothing to live for. It’s the opposite. We have nothing to die for. We have everything to live for.
Be happy. It really annoys negative people.
If there is a God, why did he make me an atheist?
I think everyone has the ability to be loved.
Take a picture not a trophy This is how real men shoot animals.
People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they’re very rarely the same.
It’s going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking. Or as Charlie Sheen calls it: Breakfast.
I think sometimes you get given a good pile of goodwill, and it’s whether you use it up in the first six months or spread it out over a career.
The truth doesn’t hurt. Whatever it is, it doesn’t hurt. It’s better to know the truth.
The next time someone is critical of you, just take a moment to consider their life. Then smile to yourself.
Being on the edge isn’t as safe, but the view is better.
Comedy and drama are different sides of the same coin. And the thing about comedy and drama is about likability. It’s about character first. It’s about story. And for me, it’s about empathy, and I think the realer someone is, the further you can go either way with them.
Dear Religion, This week I safely dropped a man from space while you shot a child in the head for wanting to go to school. Yours, Science.
Honor is a gift a man gives himself. You can be as good as anyone that ever lived. If you can read, you can learn everything that anyone ever learned. But you’ve got to want it.
Where there’s a will – there’s a relative!
You won’t burn in hell. But be nice anyway.
Got a proper job at 28. Gave it up to try comedy at 38. Decided to get fit and healthy at 48. It’s never too late. But do it now.
The existence of God is not subjective. He either exists or he doesn’t. It’s not a matter of opinion. You can have your own opinions. But you can’t have your own facts.