You now have the least amount of time you’ve ever had, to do everything you’ve ever wanted to do. Enjoy your life. You only get one.
Popularity and democracy aren’t a judge, they’re just stats.
A joke isn’t yours. It’s used and you don’t know where it’s been.
My philosophy? Have a laugh for as long as you can and don’t get run over. Or stabbed.
No one wants to see cool people doing brilliantly. I want to see the struggle. That’s the fun bit.
Thank you God for making me an atheist.
I’m not from around these parts. I’m from a little place called England: we used to run the world before you.
I like my baths really deep and hot. But washing everything only takes a few minutes. So I thought it would be a waste to just flush all that water away. So there was nothing else to do but take pictures of myself trying to look as horrendous as possible. Oh my, what have I started?
My favourite shows of the year are House of Cards, the Scandinavian versions of The Killing and The Bridge, and my guilty pleasure is everything MMA. Ultimate Fighter is amazing.
If you pay attention to good critics, you have to listen to the bad. So you have to ignore them all really. You can’t just cherry pick the glowing ones.
Someone asked me what three things I would save if my house was on fire. I said my cat, my salamander and one of the twins.
The world is not entirely comic and it’s not entirely dramatic. You have a laugh and then someone finds a lump and you deal with that. Because that is what life is like.
That’s the other thing I learned that day, that the truth, however shocking or uncomfortable, in the end leads to liberation and dignity.
With ‘The Office’ and ‘Extras’ I’ve always snuck in a little bit of heart and pathos – and drama, which is fun.
I never had a plan. I just sort of ambled along, doing exactly what I wanted every day of my life.
Piracy doesn’t kill music, boy bands do.
There’s no difference between fame and infamy now. There’s a new school of professional famous people that don’t do anything. They don’t create anything.
Whether you understand they evolved over billions of years or believe that a God made them all one afternoon, please be kind to animals.
Remember, no one can hurt your feelings without your permission.
I’ve got the attention span of a child.