Everybody loves dogs. They’re the pizza of the animal kingdom.
If someone does offer you a job, say ‘yes.’ You can always quit later. Then at least you’ll be one of the unemployed as opposed to one of the never-employed. Nothing looks worse on a resume than nothing.
There’s a buzz to failing and not dying.
I gut check my show. I say, I say, “Gut, gut, does that feel true to you?” And Gut says, “Yes it does, Stephen. Let’s get a grilled cheese sandwich.”
If you repeat it, it’s true. If you repeat it, it’s true. And through repetition, something becomes true. If you repeat it enough. Until it becomes true. Or do I need to repeat that for you?
Contraception leads to more babies being born out of wedlock, like fire extinguishers lead to more fires.
Bill Moyers is everything I never aspire to be: Calm, Thoughtful, and Informative.
Join me in standing up against any actual knowledge about guns. Let the CDC know they can take away our ignorance when the pry it from our cold dead minds.
Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a blog for people with attention spans.
The more you know, the sadder you get.
Keep your facts, I’m going with the truth.
If Germans are happy it means everyone else is miserable.
The only thing that gets me high is the musky scent of my enemy’s fear.
I gotta tell you, I do not envy whoever they try to put in David Letterman’s chair. Folks those are some huge shoes to fill, and some really big pants.
Yes, Dr. King is pro-gun just as surely as Jesus would be pro-nails.
Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to do on weekdays.
Mitt Romney’s email was hacked! So if you start getting messages that sound like they’re from a bot, he’s fixed the problem.
NC passed law against global warming science, therefore it’s not happening. So I’m ignoring Twitter’s 140-character limit, so it’s not happ.
Facebook stock continues to plummet. People started selling once they found out their mom bought it too.
I spent my first two years at a small all-male college in Virginia called Hampden-Sydney. That was like going to college 120 years ago. The languages, a year of rhetoric, all of the great books, Western Man courses, stuff like that.