I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.