Take the money and run.
I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I’m pale and I’m redheaded. I don’t tan – I stroke!
When a doctor makes a mistake, it’s best to bury the subject.
My brain? That’s my second favorite organ.
I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here. I’m 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.
I’m a teleological, existential agnostic.
For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years. We made love. I’d hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw up.
If you don’t have fun doing the film, then the results of the film will never give you any fun.
There’s no way to prove that there is no God. You just have to take it on faith.
Well, trouble’s my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don’t want you spreading that around.
Enthusiasm is a good engine, but it needs intelligence for a driver.
After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
Death is an acquired trait.
Sex on Twitter can’t hurt you – unless you fall off.
Those who can’t do, teach!
Money is not everything, but it is better than having one’s health.
I never wanted to or expected to make a film outside of New York. New York became very, very expensive. The same $18 million spent in Barcelona or Rome goes much further there.
I think being funny is not anyone’s first choice.
In order to be successful, all you’ve got to do is show up 80 percent of the time.