Youth is wasted on the young.
The meaning of life is that it stops.
We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and – in spite of True Romance magazines – we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way.
Life is hard. After all, it kills you.
Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.
I feel much better, now that I’ve given up hope.
It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
Don’t do your best, do my best.
A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first.
Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person.
Second place is just the first place loser.
Life is cruel. Why should the afterlife be any different?
Don’t ask me, I don’t know.
Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive.
Nothing in life is promised except death.
Academia is to knowledge what prostitution is to love; close enough on the surface but, to the non-sucker, not exactly the same thing.
Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own.
Multi-tasking is merely the opportunity to screw up more than one thing at a time.
War, what’s it good for? Absolutely nothing. Say it again.
If you need inspiring words, don’t do it.