To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.
Reality is what it is, not what you want it to be.
Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
You can’t get out of life alive.
The world doesn’t owe you anything. It was here first.
Nobody gets justice. People only get good luck or bad luck.
Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
I am alone. There is no God where I am.
Life’s not fair; why should I be?
It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
Money is my God. If you think God will help you then quit your job and see how much he cares.
No one is really going to help you or give you direction. In fact, the odds are against you.
Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.
Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.
Don’t do your best, do my best.
A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first.