If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.
I don’t hate people. I just feel better when they aren’t around.
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
When you’re born into this world, you’re given a ticket to the freak show. If you’re born in America you get a front row seat.
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
It would be better if there were nothing. Since there is more pain than pleasure on earth, every satisfaction is only transitory, creating new desires and new distresses, and the agony of the devoured animal is always far greater than the pleasure of the devourer.
Life is not fair. Get used to it.
Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you’ll have the time of your life!
Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
To create art means to be crazy alone forever.
Let it die. Let there be a new beginning. It’s awful. Goodnight.
Beware of those who seek constant crowds; they are nothing alone.
The crowd is the gathering place of the weakest; true creation is a solitary act.
Wherever the crowd goes, run in the other direction. They’re always wrong.
Death is not the problem; waiting around for it is.
On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
Worker bees can leave. Even drones can fly away. The Queen is their slave.
I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active – not more happy – nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.