Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.
Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.
Abscond – to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
Duty – that which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron – namely, that he is a blockhead.
Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.
Prejudice – a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
When you doubt, abstain.
Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
Sabbath – a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.
Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.
An egotist is a person of low taste – more interested in himself than in me.
Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth.