An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.
A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.
You cannot adopt politics as a profession and remain honest.
ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of caution.
A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe.
A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.
EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc.
Botany, n. The science of vegetables – those that are not good to eat, as well as those that are. It deals largely with their flowers, which are commonly badly designed, inartistic in color, and ill-smelling.
Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.
A single swallow, it is said, devours ten millions of insects every year. The supplying of these insects I take to be a signal instance of the Creator’s bounty in providing for the lives of His creatures.
Nature’s fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.
I keep a conscience uncorrupted by religion, a judgment undimmed by politics and patriotism, a heart untainted by friendships and sentiments unsoured by animosities.
Woman absent is woman dead.
LOGANIMITY, n. The disposition to endure injury with meek forbearance while maturing a plan of revenge.
Here’s to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands.
REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next.
A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment.
A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.
Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.