A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the fattening of the poor.
A statesman who shakes the fruit trees of his neighbors – to dislodge the worms.
NOVEL, n. A short story padded...
I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.
We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect.
Irreligion – the principal one of the great faiths of the world.
Historian – a broad-gauge gossip.
Genius – to know without having learned; to draw just conclusions from unknown premises; to discern the soul of things.
Erudition – dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
Amnesty, n. The state’s magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one’s voice.
Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.
Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.
Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is – it is her shadow.
Wit – the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.
Genealogy, n. An account of one’s descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.
Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.