Where else but in America could the women’s liberation movement take off their bras, then go on TV to complain about their lack of support?
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.
I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you. When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
Isn’t it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?
I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning.
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.