There is no greater burden than great potential.
A good education is the next best thing to a pushy mother.
There’s nothing like unrequited love to take all the flavor out of a peanut butter sandwich.
If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.
There’s a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.
I just draw what I think is funny, and I hope other people think it is funny, too.
Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
That’s the only dog I know who can smell someone just thinking about food.
I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
Decorate your home. It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting than it really is.
Happiness is waking up, looking at the clock and finding that you still have two hours left to sleep.
A whole stack of memories never equal one little hope.
There’s no sense in doing a lot of barking if you don’t really have anything to say.
No one would have been invited to dinner so often as Jesus was unless he were interesting and had a sense of humor.
I have observed that whenever you try to hit somebody, there is a tendency for them to try to hit you back.
I’m torn between the desire to create and the desire to destroy.
I gave up trying to understand people long ago. Now I let them try to understand me!
How can we lose when we’re so sincere?
Well, I know about loneliness. I won’t talk about it, but I was very lonely after the war. I know what it feels like to spend a whole weekend all by yourself and no one wants you at all.
To dance is to live!