My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
It was a bitter moment for us. We weren’t two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy’s permission, blessings, and money to survive.
When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, ‘No thank you’ to desert that night. And for what?!
It’s frightening to wake up one morning and discover that while you were asleep you went out of style.
Housework can kill you if done right.
Shopping is a woman thing. It’s a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.
Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.
I don’t know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.
Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
Families aren’t easy to join. They’re like an exclusive country club where membership makes impossible demands and the dues for an outsider are exorbitant.