A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face.
Be open minded, but not so open minded that your brains fall out.
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
I have nothing but respect for you – and not much of that.
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
I’ve got the brain of a four year old. I’ll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Well, Art is Art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother’s day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
Either he’s dead or my watch has stopped.
A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.
I’m not feeling very well – I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
All people are born alike – except Republicans and Democrats.
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.