Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
This isn’t a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others merely by getting a law passed.
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
Do they allow tipping on the boat? – Yes, sir. Have you got two fives? – Oh, yes, sir. Then you won’t need the ten cents I was going to give you.
TV is the rat race of the century.
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed. Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face.
Be open minded, but not so open minded that your brains fall out.
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
I have nothing but respect for you – and not much of that.
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
I’ve got the brain of a four year old. I’ll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Well, Art is Art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother’s day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!