Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
It isn’t enough for you to love money – it’s also necessary that money should love you.
There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them.
The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.
Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn’t have as many monuments to unveil.
There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?
Some folks pay a compliment like they went down in their pocket for it.
The world gets better every day – then worse again in the evening.
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.
An optimist is a fellow who believes what’s going to be will be postponed.
Honesty pays, but it doesn’t seem to pay enough to suit some people.
Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.
Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book.
Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he’s overcharging you.
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.
Don’t knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while.
If there’s anything a public servant hates to do it’s something for the public.
We can tell that a good name is better than riches by those who prefer the riches.