I initially thought you were ugly, but then you walked closer to me and I realized you were pretty.
Writing, at its heart, is a solitary pursuit, designed to make people depressoids, drug addicts, misanthropes, and antisocial weirdos.
My mother is more of an adviser. I followed everything she did when I was younger, because I looked up to her so much.
Live performance really terrifies me. I haven’t done it, really, in years. I think that’s why I retired from my brief career in stand-up.
On ‘The Office,’ so much of the show is about disguising your true feelings and your romantic feelings because it was a mock documentary.
We always think of a diet with a big groan. But I think diets are fun. I think it is an American pastime for a lot of women.
Writing a book is the most terrifying thing that I’ve ever done. It’s so much harder than writing for television because it is a completely different skill set.
As a kid it’s adorable to have a gap in your teeth. But then, because of the shifting in my mouth, I started whistling through it, and as a 32-year-old woman, whistling while you speak in sort of annoying.
Almost every college playwright or sketch or improv comedian was sort of aware of Christopher Durang – even kids in high school. His short plays were so accessible to younger people and I think that was inspirational to me.
I think references, where they fit organically, are great. It’s great to do a show that’s real and relatable, and so much of what is real, is using real things and instances that are specific. Specificity is the best tool you can have, as a writer.
It’d be great to be so famous that if I murder someone, I will never, ever, ever serve any jail time, even if it’s totally obvious to everyone that I did it.
Albums that remind me of my childhood happiness make me incredibly sad now.
When smart people are nice, it’s always terrifying, because I know they’re taking in everything and thinking all kinds of smart and potentially judgmental things.
He was so popular you could barely look at him without being blinded by cool.
Besides, who wants to read about success, anyway? Successful serial murderers, maybe.
To put it kindly, I am a very talkative, social person. To put it less kindly, I’m a flibbertigibbet, which is what my frenemy Rainn Wilson calls me.
I guess nothing puts a damper on a one-night stand as much as your friend pointing out all the opportunities where you might have been killed.
If I can muster up any allure in my life, at this stage, I wouldn’t mind doing that.
What? I have a cold. Don’t get a look of terror on your face. The worst that could happen is that you’ll get a cold, too. You don’t have to theatrically Purell a thousand times a day and look all panicky every time I come into the room.
You might also see that some of my playlists are simply two songs on repeat fifteen times, like I’m a psycho getting pumped up to murder the president.