Being nuts is its own reward.
In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.
Meditation state is a place of deep relaxation where you can pinpoint the things you do and to set a paradigm switch from effect to cause. So how to be a cause in your own life.
Imitation is the sincerest form of show business.
I think I’m hysterical. I watch myself on tape and just roar – isn’t that weird?
I am an observant Jew! Now my secret is out.
I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.
Both the Democratic and Republican parties are bought and paid for by corporate America and cater to the needs of the highest bidder as opposed to the people they claim to represent. I cannot be bought.
I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That’s what we’re supposed to do. But I not only ask the questions, I offer solutions.
I try to do women’s-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, ‘This is what I think; there’s the truth.’ I try to think of stuff that’s real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff.
To expect life to treat you good is foolish as hoping a bull won’t hit you because you are a vegetarian.
The fact that my grown kids like to hang out with me, I mean, it just – I don’t think it really can get any better than that, I don’t think.
A lot of people in television who’ve had successful shows claim the ‘Roseanne’ show as their starting place, and I’m really proud of that.
I call myself a ’domestic goddess.
Women are cursed, and men are the proof.
I will barnstorm American living rooms. Mainstream media will be unable to ignore me, but more importantly they will be unable to overlook the needs of average Americans in the run-up to the 2012 election.
I’m a farmer now, and it’s fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat. There’s something about earning your dinner that’s cool.
I don’t really want to hang out with politicians. I’d rather go straight to hell, and not collect $200.
I have great parents, and they both taught me great things, but my formative years were boundaryless.
I believe in equal rights for all citizens. One law for all.