I think ‘Dilbert’ will remain popular as long as employees are frustrated and they fear the consequences of complaining too loudly. ‘Dilbert’ is the designated voice of discontent for the workplace. I never planned it that way. It just happened.
For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.
I had several different bosses during the early years of ‘Dilbert.’ They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.
I love magazines. It’s such McNugget kind of information.
I would sometimes sit in a crowded restaurant, and say, ‘You know, I’m the only person in this restaurant who can’t draw.’
I’m primarily just an investor.
Let’s form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it.
The longer you work here, diverse it gets.
I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over it doing my administrative stuff.
He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.
Moslem: people who believe suicide is a good way to get laid.
Technology: No Place for Wimps!
You probably think Stephen Hawking is in that wheelchair because of a motor neuron disease. But if you got as much barely-legal student poontang as The Hawkster, you’d be in a wheelchair too.
I never knew what an engineer did for a living when I was a kid. I still don’t.
I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.
Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does.
Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I’m wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.
If you haven’t already told your kids ‘don’t fellate the president’ then you’re probably a bad parent.