You might think the word “homemade” is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don’t realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that’s why.
When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.
A person with a flexible schedule and average resources will be happier than a rich person who has everything except a flexible schedule. Step one in your search for happiness is to continually work toward having control of your schedule.
Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list, and thinking they could have been written by a coma patient with a keyboard and spasms.
Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.
In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.
The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.
Failure is where success likes to hide in plain sight.
If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.
Dilbert: I’m obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it’s impossible, but I have something they don’t. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.
E-books are impervious to analogy.
Dinosaur: I plan to use punctuated equilibrium to turn this zit into a third eye. Catbert: That’s not a natural advantage. You’d better stay away from the fitter dinosaurs.
Dogbert: Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf. Dilbert: How can they tell it’s the golf gene? Dogbert: It’s plaid and it lies.
In yesterday’s post, I asked how many of you guys would have sex with a robot if it was indistinguishable from a hot human woman. About 95% of the hetero guys said they would. The other 5% expressed a strong preference for lying.
Sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
Most success springs from an obstacle or failure.
This happens to me: I have this great idea and then I make the mistake of telling someone else.
Mockery is an important social tool for squelching stupidity. I’ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I’ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
Your inability to see other possibilities and your lack of vocabulary are your brain’s limits, not the universe’s.