Am I just chasing it because it’s the hardest thing for me to get and I want to prove I can do it?
According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don’t worry, lonely women, you’ll be dead soon.
Tracy: Stop eating people’s old french fries, little pigeon. Have some self-respect. Don’t you know you can fly?
You transition as a mother from literally just pulling a booger out of that person’s nose whenever you see one until at some point they assert: “No, I’m a person. You can’t fix my underpants on the subway.”
The barrier between TV and movies has come down and film actors are willing to do TV and vice versa, because they just want to follow what’s interesting.
In my limited experience, shows are like children. You can teach them manners and dress them in little sailor suits, but in the end, they’re going to be who they’re going to be.
I love to play strippers and to imitate them. I love using that idea for comedy, but the idea of actually going there? I feel like we all need to be better than that. That industry needs to die, by all of us being a little bit better than that.
It’s the same reason I don’t get Hooters. Why do we need to enjoy chicken wings and boobies at the same time? Yes, they are a natural and beautiful part of the human experience. And so are boobies. But why at the same time?
Will Ferrell is a dangerous man. If he thinks you’re in his way in show business, he will crack your head open. He’s the Jeff Gillooly of comedy.
Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.
The eyes are the window to where the soul is supposed to be.
I had to get back to work. NBC has me under contract. The baby and I only have a verbal agreement.
I really like John McCain. He’s an awesome dude and was a lot of fun when he hosted “SNL.” I’d love to see a McCain-Giuliani “rage” ticket.
It has been said that to write is to live forever. The man who said that is dead.
Sometimes if you have a difficult decisin to make, just stall until the answer presents itself.
I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria’s Secret. There would be no Dior.
We writers dream of a future where actors are mostly computer generated and their performances can be adjusted, by us, on a laptop, alone.
In Afghanistan this week, outnumbered Northern Alliance rebels on horseback defeated Taliban forces armed with tanks. Experts say the victory is just like the story of David and Goliath and David’s friend, the Stealth Bomber.
A new poll showed that 66% of Americans think President Bush is doing a poor job handling the war in Iraq and the remaining 34% think that Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church.
Life is improvisation.