If the world is a progressively realized community of interpretation, then either quadruplictity will drink procrastination or, provided that the nothing negates, boredom will ensue seldom more often than frequently.
When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl – she wanted a divorce.
Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything.
All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
My father worked for the same firm for 12 years. They fired him and replaced him with a tiny gadget that does everything my father does, only much better. The depressing thing is my mother ran out and bought one.
Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don’t know how the can-opener works.
Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.
My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
Most of the time I don’t have much fun. The rest of the time I don’t have any fun at all.
We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let’s hope we make the right choice.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
I myself don’t like to speak to the actors at all. I like to hire great people and let them do their thing. I don’t like to speak to them. I don’t like to have lunch with them. I don’t like to socialize with them. I don’t like to hear their ideas.
Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it’s still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
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Until you’ve been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon – you’ve never been kissed.
I like broad comedy. If I had an idea tomorrow for a film that was all slapstick and broad comedy, and it was an idea that interested me, I would not hesitate to do it because I enjoy watching these kinds of film.
Eternity is really long, especially near the end.