Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
The less I speak to the actors, the better. And I always hire great people, and I don’t want to impose my pre-conceived notions on them. They know how to play it.
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
If you’re born with a gift, to behave like it’s an achievement is not right.
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
When you travel around the country, you see what a tough town New York is: rude, competitive, a town where good, logical ideas are ignored in favor of unworkable ones. And yet, all these other towns are so dead and boring compared to New York.
Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain – and this is a chance for something special.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
If my soul exists without my body I am convinced all my clothes will be loose-fitting.
I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
I’ve always believed that thoughtful people don’t really take the tabloids seriously. They’re basically a form of entertainment. I enjoy them as much as the next New Yorker.
Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing ‘Embraceable You’ in spats.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
People always tease me. They say, look at you, you went for so much psychoanalysis and you’re so neurotic, you wind up marrying a girl so much younger than you.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.
I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling.
I don’t like to meet the actor and have a lot of conferences and talk about their sub-life and their off-screen life and their back stories and all that nonsense, because it never means anything.