Until you’ve been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon – you’ve never been kissed.
Eternity is really long, especially near the end.
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
God is either cruel or incompetent.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.
We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.
I have great faith in the actors. When they improvise, it always sounds better than the stuff I write in my bedroom. When they improvise, they make it sound alive.
I didn’t believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don’t.
Sygmnd was a poor Austrian who’d lost all the vowels in his name in a boating accident.
Life is horrible, but it is not relentlessly black from wire to wire. You can sit down and hear a Mozart symphony, or you can watch the Marx Brothers, and this will give you a pleasant escape for a while. And that is about the best that you can do.
I hope you’re getting this down.
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon.
I’ve had a very productive life. I’ve worked very hard, I’ve never fallen prey to depression. I’m not sure I could have done all of that without being in psychoanalysis.
Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful; provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Change is almost always negative. Things degenerate.
If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.
If there is reincarnation, I’d like to come back as Warren Beatty’s fingertips.