They’ll always be an England, even if it’s in Hollywood.
Everyone’s nervous these days. Ronald McDonald has hired six bodyguards, and that’s just to protect his buns.
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
Arnold Palmer is the biggest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility.
Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.
The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren’t penalized for being on grass.
I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
Every Naval vessel has a contingent of Marines aboard. After all, the Sailors have to have someone to dance with.
Miniskirts have become quite a fad. They’re even some guys wearing them. Don’t laugh, if you had thought to of that, you’d not be here now.
Whenever I play with him, I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.
If I have to lay an egg for my country, I’ll do it.
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!
You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.