You know you’re rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you’re on your property.
Don’t argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in a arguement. It’s impossble you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense.
Early in my career it was very important that I gain the reputation. I haven’t been on the road in two or three years, but when I say tickets are on sale, I know they’re going to be gone, even if my movie bombed or my TV show sucked.
I never had the confidence to say I was going to be in front of the camera as a comedian until I saw Eddie Murphy years later.
You can’t think the thoughts you want to think if you think you’re being watched.
When a musical act performs, the black audience goes crazy for all the stuff, the album cuts, everything. White audiences, they’re nice and all, but they’re not going to lose it until they get the hits. Comedy is the same thing.
Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren’t free but I’m sure they enjoyed fireworks.
Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.
You don’t pay taxes – they take taxes.
When you make drama you are like Picasso. Drama is whatever you want it to be.
A man is only as faithful as his options.
I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
When you make comedy, you make it for the people and you try to have as many screenings and as many tests and you do focus groups and you read the cards and you try to give the people what they want in this comedy.
A white boy that makes C’s in college can make it to the White House.
Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.
A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you’re trying material.
A black Christian is like a black person with no memory.
If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.
Women need food, water, and compliments That’s right. And an occasional pair of shoes.