You know what GED stands for? Good Enough Diploma.
Though part of me had always wanted to be a comedian, another part of me had always wanted to be Bryant Gumbel or Dan Rather.
The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.
If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! “This is a rap killing. Let’s go home!”
You only know that you’re smart because you’re around dumb people from time to time!
I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they’d let me join the Ku Klux Klan!
Community college is like a disco with books: “Here’s ten dollars; let me get my learn on!”
Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you’re up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.
There’s always a moment in any stand-up show I do where people are booing. They kinda boo a premise. And then I bail myself out with a joke. But it’s like trying to do movies where there’s a dramatic undertone.
Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.
Pretty girls have problems too.
I was bused to a school in Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn in 1972. I was one of the first black kids in the history of the school.
I live way below my means.
Never go to clubs with metal detectors. Sure it feels safe inside. But what about all those niggas waiting outside with guns? They know you ain’t got one.
See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to.
I think it’s better to have ideas.
Hollywood’s just not funny.
George Bush hates midgets.
People want what they want. And I guess that is a reason we have this big credit card problem and a lot of these foreclosures.
Remember when we was young, everybody used to have these arguments about who’s better, Michael Jackson or Prince? Prince won!