I don’t like my politicians entertaining me and I don’t like my entertainers politicianing me.
If you absolutely believe that what you do is right, you’re bullet-proof.
Confession is a sacred rite enhanced by allegory, exaggeration, and lies.
Evil does not question itself. Only Hope questions itself.
Justin Bieber’s tour bus was stopped by Canadian border patrol agents. And they found marijuana. The agents said Bieber was a disgrace to Canada and should never come back. Then they found the marijuana.
I watched the Republican debate. At one point, the candidates said there are no classes in America, a point then hotly debated by all six rich white guys that were there.
Today Monopoly added a new game piece: the cat. The new piece was chosen after weeks of online voting. Is that a surprise? Whenever there’s a vote for something on the Internet, the cat always wins.
People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay teeth.
I’m careful with money.
If Scotland and America go to war, I’m afraid I’ve already sworn in.
If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I’m out. I’m gone.
I remember talking to someone early on after I was sober about how I suddenly felt awkward at parties. They said, ‘Well, you’re supposed to. Everyone feels awkward at parties.’ It’s an appropriate feeling to feel.
Stand by your bed and salute me.
I didn’t flee a dictator or swim an ocean to be an American like some do. I just thought long and hard about it.
She still cared for me, and the best way I could make amends to her was to be happy. I do have a knack for finding great women.
It seemed that I performed better sober than drunk. Who knew?
If a man doesn’t know how to dance he doesn’t know how to make love, there I said it!
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you the world. Have fun blowing it up.
Even the incorruptible are corruptible if they cannot accept the possibility of being mistaken. Infallibility is a sin in any man. All laws can be broken and are. Often.
After all this time I found that the novel is in fact punk rock.