You’re never too old to play. You’re only too old for low-rise jeans.
I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.
You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress.
So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we’ve checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist? Genius.
When people show me clothing that seems very, very feminine, it’s hard for me to embrace that, because it just doesn’t feel like me.
When there’s time for whistling, there’s a lot of time on a show.
Baloney is just salami with an inferiority complex.
Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.
All we have is here and now. That’s why procrastination feels so right. Procrastination isn’t the problem, it’s the solution.
I don’t need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I’m going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.
Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.
Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up the show because people thought no one would watch it because I’m openly gay.
You can always tell when the relationship is over. Little things start getting on your nerves, ‘Would you please stop that! That breathing in and out, it’s so repetitious.’
Did you ever feel like the whole world was going to a party and your invitation got lost in the mail?
Usually, I wear tennis shoes because my feet are flat, and it hurts to wear anything other than shoes that are cushiony.
I have an amazing team; I have amazing producers; I have amazing writers, but at the end of it, it’s me making the decisions on the writing, the tone, the editing.
The stand up, everything was accidental. I never grew up and was the class clown and had to get the attention. It was – it really is, I have a career despite myself.
I hate having to do small talk. I’d rather talk about deep subjects. I’d rather talk about meditation, or the world, or the trees or animals, than small, inane, you know, banter.
I have a great career, and I have wonderful fans who really are supportive and loyal – because I’m not hiding anything from them.
I’m sure there’s somebody out there who doesn’t like Betty White because she’s short and has white hair.