We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
Humor is based on surprise, and surprise is a milder way of saying shock. It’s surprise that makes the joke.
Their only words. You can’t be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it’s an unpleasant truth.
You have to be realistic about terrorism. Certain groups of people, certain groups, Muslim fundamentalists, Christian fundamentalists, Jewish fundamentalists, and just plain guys from Montanta, are going to continue to make life in this country very interesting for a long, long time.
If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain.
The bloodiest, most brutal wars fought, all based on religious hatred. Which is fine with me! Any time a bunch of holy people want to go out and kill each other I’m a happy guy!
The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it.
Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person – in my case the deliverer of material – is, “Don’t you see it, don’t you see how badly you’re doing?” It’s like shaking a child – which you’re not supposed to do.
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If you’ve got a cat and a leg, you’ve got a happy cat. If you’ve got a cat and two legs, you’ve got a party.
Voting is a meaningless exercise. I’m not going to waste my time with it. These parties, these politicians are given to us as a way of making us feel we have freedom of choice. But we don’t. Everything is done to you in this country.
Regarding jam sessions: Jazz musicians are the only workers I can think of who are willing to put in a full shift for pay and then go somewhere else and continue to work for free.
I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn’t need school for what I wanted.
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.
My mother and I had a lot of distance between us emotionally, although, on the surface, most of the time, we appeared good and friendly, and all that. But I was a problem. I was a street kid.
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
The future will soon be a thing of the past.
If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor.
I’ve been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.
When someone is impatient and says, ‘I haven’t got all day,’ I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?