Sun worship is fairly simple. There’s no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don’t have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.
McDonald’s breakfast for under a dollar is actually more expensive than that. You have to factor in the cost of bypass surgery.
I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes; I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you’re screwed because it’s all fixed and rigged. There is a club and you ain’t in it.
Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
The worst thing about e-mail is that you can’t interrupt the other person. You have to read the whole thing and then e-mail them back, pointing out all their mistakes and faulty assumptions. It’s frustrating and it’s time-consuming. God bless phone calls.
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. It doesn’t only represent the good things. If you burn the flag, you’re burning the flag for what you perceive to be the bad things the country has done. it’s only a symbol. It’s only a piece of cloth.
I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
Y’ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it’s because all the coats are on the bed.
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
Christian Deodorant: “Thou Shalt Not Smell”
I went straight from shenanigans to crimes against humanity.