The United States have developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It’s called the stock market.
A new study found that people who are depressed have a greater risk of stroke. Well that should cheer them up.
As Miss America, my goal is to bring peace to the entire world and then get my own apartment.
Now, I have a Halloween mask I think you might get a kick out of. That’s scary.
President Obama said he is going to use the Gulf disaster to push a new energy bill through Congress. How about using the Gulf disaster to fix the Gulf disaster?
You know what’s sad about this? Not the gambling, but the best way to reach college athletes is the Cartoon Network.
President Bush spent the day calling names he couldn’t pronounce in countries he never knew existed.
Today is February 14th – St. Valentine’s day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as Extortion day.
A new poll shows that Americans now believe that Bill Clinton is more honest than President Bush. At least when Clinton screwed the nation, he did it one person at a time.
Bill Maher and I are on against each other, and we’re friends. He can do my show any time he wants, and I’ve done Politically Incorrect several times. There’s no reason to think competition has to be adversarial.
McDonald’s announced that it’s considering a more humane way of slaughtering its animals. You know they fatten them up and then kill them. You know the same thing they do to their customers, isn’t it?
They had so much rain in New York that a lot of the cabbies had their first shower in years.
Stephen Hawking is getting a divorce. That’s scary. If the smartest guy in the world can’t figure out women, we’re screwed.
Big scandal on the new ‘Survivor’ series. The white, the black and the Hispanic teams were caught cheating off the Asian team.
There’s this big pie in show business, and you physically can’t eat the whole pie. If you give everybody a slice of pie, you will still have more than enough. The real trick is not to try to get the whole pie, but to keep the biggest slice.
A fitness instructor in Maine has been charged with running a prostitution business out of her Zumba dance studio. Authorities first got suspicious when they saw guys going to work out at a Zumba dance studio.
Anthony Weiner and his wife, Huma, have given birth to a baby boy. He posted a photo of the new baby on Twitter, but people are afraid to open it.
A survey released today found that men spend twice as much on their mistresses for Christmas as they do on their wives. On the other hand, men spend half their income on the wives when the wife finds out about the mistress. So it all balances out.
As they do every year, al-Qaida has threatened to disrupt and ruin Christmas. You know, we already have a group that disrupts and ruins Christmas every year. They’re called relatives.
The FDA is now warning people not to eat raw cookie dough this holiday season. Is that how fat we’re getting in this country? Our ovens are too slow now?