They say there are something like 12 million illegal immigrants in the country right now, with another half a million coming every year. Remember in the last election when the Democrats claimed there was two Americas? Turns out one of them was Mexico.
The Democrats say that President Bush doesn’t have an exit strategy for Iraq. Of course he does. If things don’t go well, he exits in November.
Kerry is well on his way to reaching his magic number of 2,162. That’s the total number of delegates he needs to win the Democratic nomination. See for President Bush it’s different – his magic number is 5. That’s the number of Supreme Court judges needed to win.
President Bush says he has just one question for the American voters, ‘Is the rich person you’re working for better off now than they were four years ago?’
The White House approved an exemption in Obamacare coverage for Congress and members of their staff. Members complained that the Affordable Care Act will cost them thousands extra a year in premiums. Wait a minute. It’s their bill. If it’s too expensive, why did they name it the Affordable Care Act?
Border agents have now been issued air guns that shoot pepper balls at people coming across the Mexican border. Have they thought this through? Is that going to bother people from Mexico? Pepper balls? Don’t these people eat jalapenos? Isn’t that like firing meatballs at an Italian guy?
Happiness is a privilege.
I don’t like goodbyes, NBC does.
The big question now is who will take power in Afghanistan once the Taliban is defeated. I was thinking, how about Al Gore? He’s not doing anything, he needs a job, and he’s already got the beard.
Hillary Clinton said she hopes America is ready for a woman in the Oval Office. That was the great thing about her husband Bill: he was always ready for a woman in the Oval Office.
There are over 30 doctors running for the US Congress this year. That’s going to be rather strange. Half the time these folks will be playing God and asking women to take their clothes off and the other half the time they will be doctors.
In a landmark decision, the Supreme Court ruled President Obama’s healthcare mandate is constitutional. This is a major victory for President Obama, who spent three years promoting it, and a major setback for Mitt Romney, who spent three years creating it.
It’s not called cocaine any more. It’s now referred to as Crack Classic.
Republican presidential hopeful Mike Hucka-BS is attacking actress Natalie Portman for getting pregnant without being married. It could get a little awkward if he runs into Sarah and Bristol Palin at Fox News.
John Kerry said today he wants to debate President Bush once a month. Hey good luck, if Bush couldn’t make it to the National Guard once a month, he’s not going to show up for this.
I was watching Discovery Channel the other day, and you know that they have come up with a new theory about how dinosaurs was wiped out? It was a midturn election...
President Bush got a little upset with a reporter for calling him ‘sir’ instead of ‘Mr. President.’ Man, how upset is he going to be after the election when they start calling him George again?
When you do late-night TV, you do different jokes in the same place every night. When you’re on the road as a comedian, you do the same jokes in a different place every night.
Congress voted for tougher laws on corporations. So now when a corporation buys a senator, they need a receipt.
The United States have developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It’s called the stock market.