I like video games, I like tech, I like being positive.
I like being absurd. Being silly.
I like to see people laugh who are normally serious.
I didn’t act like I was there. I just got into the story.
I don’t even read the papers. I read ‘USA Today’ because it has color photos.
The fans were so psyched that someone was doing a movie about a Boston fan that they were giving their all.
We had the guys from X Men 2 do the cameras. They had a 360 camera that would go from one car, up in the air and over to another car in a continuous shot while the film was still rolling, going 90 mph.
When I was a kid, you would tune in to ‘The Tonight Show’ before you went to sleep. Johnny Carson. A big treat. I know it’s a privilege of mine to be able to be in people’s homes. So I hope I make everyone proud, including my parents, and do a good job in this.
Whenever I’m stuck in traffic, I can’t help but wonder, ‘Where did the creator of The Jetsons go, and why hasn’t he done something about this?’
Listening is more important than talking.
God invented mankind because he loved silly stories. Ralph Steadman I like being absurd.
Researches tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn’t get the user high, prompting patients who need medical marijuana to declare, ‘Thank you?’
Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model.
I’m on so late I’m definitely the last seconds of anyone’s attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at, so they go, ‘That’s funny,’ then fall asleep.
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s publicist told USA Today that the actor has not ruled out running for governor of California, saying that he will make a decision soon. Reportedly Arnold needs that time to learn how to pronounce ‘gubernatorial.’
I just feel like people like a little break. Especially at 12:37 at night, you go, like, ‘I’m just tired of the snarky right now. I just want to lie down and have somebody make me laugh for an hour. Entertain me, and then I’m going to sleep with a smile on my face.’ That’s my job; that’s what I do.
I’d be nothing without my wife. She’s the coolest. She’s the greatest. She is the smartest. She’s the funniest. I love her so much. She’s like the – it’s like your best friend for the rest of your life.
I, of course, wanted to do something with Drew Barrymore. Please. So we were reading scripts back and forth and then we found this script, Fever Pitch.
Politics is pop. Our job as comedians – especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience – is to amplify what we think America is thinking.
They’re making a movie about Barack and Michelle Obama’s first date, called ‘Southside With You,’ and the producers say they’ve already cast someone to play young Barack Obama. Now, I’m not saying the president has aged a lot but that young actor is Morgan Freeman.