I’m enjoying the work while I get it right now.
I’m not a political comedian. That’s just not what I do.
It’s kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody’s looking at me.
A lot of the struggle I had with movies is I really loved moments and tones and feelings in a scene, and I loved creating those, but I never really had great stories to string them together.
Fathers have skills that they never use at home. You run a landscaping business and you can’t dress and feed a four-year-old? Take it on!
When my kids were younger, I used to avoid them. I used to sit on the toilet ’til my legs fell asleep. You want to know why your father spends so long in the toilet? Because he’s not sure he wants to be a father.
Spend time with your kids and have your own ideas about what they need. It won’t take away your manhood; it will give it to you.
I found out that I’m a pretty bad father. I make a lot of mistakes and I don’t know what I’m doing. But my kids love me. Go figure.
I’ve been having a lot of trouble sleeping as we all should. I dunno. You don’t live that long. It doesn’t matter.
I never viewed money as being ‘my money’ I always saw it as ‘the money.’ It’s a resource. If it pools up around me then it needs to be flushed back out into the system.
Whenever I’ve encountered a Christian saying, ‘Why don’t you stop talking like that so I can hear you?’ I think, ‘Well you’re the one putting the earmuffs on, but I wish you could hear me because I like you.’
The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I’m not telling you what it’s about and I’m not telling you who’s in it.
To me the goal of comedy is to just laugh, which is a really high hearted thing, visceral connection and reaction.
Why can’t we have racism that’s ignorant but nice? You could have stereotypes that are positive about race. You could say, “Those Chinese people, they can fly!” “You know about the Puerto Ricans? They’re made of candy!”
I don’t think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.
I don’t like comedy. I like funny things. I don’t like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, ‘Oh Jesus.’
Perception is created and twisted so quickly.
Comedy isn’t polite and it isn’t correct and it isn’t accurate, even. It’s just a mess. So that’s the way that I approach it.
I would rather be with my kids than anybody else.
America’s a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out.