History moves fast. It’s hard to believe that gay Americans achieved full constitutional personhood just five years after corporations did!
Made no mistake: America is a Christian nation. The bedrock of our theo-democracy is our Judeo-Christian values. that term, by the way, is a bit of a misnomer. It implies that Christianity and Judaism are equal.
Cardinal Dolan, of course, has a very, very hard job: trying to hold up Catholic family values in sexually liberal New York City. I’m not saying New York is the Gay Mecca. But it’s at least Gay-rusalem.
Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he’s already blowing away the competition like it is a trespassing coyote.
What’s the worst that can happen? A tidal wave? Glaciers with guns?
A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?
Women don’t want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.
President Bush, have a hot dog with me.
I may not agree with what you have to say but I will fight you to the death for the right to fight you to the death.
All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It’s only the dogs who’ve accepted Christ.
So if animals aren’t our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.
Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.
I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.
Knock Knock. Who’s there? The Truth. No joke.
Will Herman Cain become the first black President that I acknowledge? I call him a dark horse because he’s an unlikely candidate who surged forward, and not because he’s a horse.
I can’t prove it, but I can say it.
I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible – I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical.
Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything. It’s certainty.
Foreign newspapers: if they’ve got nothing to hide, how come they don’t print them in English?
I’m disappointed that my own Catholic Church has decided that capital punishment is wrong. Which is pretty hypocritical if you think about it, because they wouldn’t even have a religion if it wasn’t for capital punishment.