I’m a busy guy; I just get a lot of people that sound like me to go out and visit them. They don’t know the difference and, let’s face it, they aren’t going to be paying to see my movies anytime soon.
If God wanted women to be treated equally to men, he’d have given them penises.
For me, acting in scenes with other people is like playing soccer with a bunch of legless five year olds. It’s not really fair to them, but what else can I do, you know?
I think slavery was an awful, awful period in our history, but when I look at what’s become of black culture since emancipation, I think you have to admit, maybe the Confederacy was on to something.
I really don’t know why we need a whole month dedicated to blacks. It’s not like they’re the only ones that suffered. I mean, what about us whites? We’re the ones that have to deal with these monkeys everyday, but you don’t see us demanding a whole month to ourselves.
At first, I didn’t really care if global warming existed. But then I realized it means that less bums would freeze to death in the winter.
It’s all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.
Now, I’m not going to be misquoted on this like I have numerous times before, so I’ll be quite clear. I’ve never said hitler was my hero, just that if he had focused on more than one race he would have had the right idea. Try to turn that one against me.
After all meat is meat. I don’t understand why so many people are bithing about it. It’s very healthy and contains lots of vitamins.
I think they’re bogus, honestly. How utter garbage like Crash and Million Dollar Baby can win best picture, where true works of art such as Garden State go untouched is beyond me. It just proves how close-minded America really is, and I refuse to take part in it.
I definitely try to play a common man in my roles so people can identify with my characters, but the truth of the matter is that it doesn’t really matter what I do or my lines are, I’m still Zach Braff, and people know I’m better than them.
It raises several serious questions. For example, how can there possibly be more than one person as awesome as me?
It’s funny when I read the tabloids and they’re reporting on only a fraction of the life I’m leading.
Well I don’t like to think too far ahead because it scares me a little to think of what this world will come to after I’m gone, but I suppose life will have to go on, right? At least everyone will still be able to watch reruns of Scrubs.
I never go easy on kids when I play board games. The sooner they learn what the consequence of entering a competition is, the better. If they win, I punch them in the face like any adult.
They say that guys who like chick flicks tend to do a little better with the ladies. Well, I INVENTED the chick flick, so you can pretty much guess where that leaves me.
Actually when I gave out the script, I gave it with a CD of all the music I wanted to put in the movie, and again, we never thought we’d get all that music.
Probably the most memorable even of my life is when I was born. It really made me who I am. If I die, I hope to go out the same way I came in, but I don’t think my mother would be into that.
When you’re the director and the writer, you never have to remember your lines, and there’s no one to call you on it. On Garden State I did different lines on every take, just making crap up. And it was great each time.
It’s not terrible, I guess, but if Ricky Gervais was half as talented as me, maybe the show would actually be funny once in a while.