People keep asking me whether I’m going to vote for Obama or McCain in the election. But I’m like, why bother? There will never be another leader as good as he was.
I’m not lazy, I drive everywhere myself, the dog could’ve learned something from me.
My favorite meal? It has to be furburgers everyday in the morning.
I guess sometimes God just needs to laugh.
I think in a play it’s wise to just sit back and watch other actors and be able to shape it from the audience.
I’m not sure when or why the tabloid angle on me was decided that I am a cad. I would have much rather it had been that I am secretly a dentist or that I love soup.
I think the Bible should be re-written for today’s society. We can call it ‘Scrubs.’
I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.
That cyclone in Burma? That was just me doing the dance to that annoying ass song...
A child’s death is really of less value than an adult’s. I mean, what could you really accomplish in a year? Not much, and that’s not even talking about, you know, pay-wise.
I really don’t give a care, I’m going to live for ever.
I believe the general consensus is the bigger it is, the more women flock to you. I guess its a good thing mine is HUGE!
I’ve been doing som jogging at home recently and every time I try the distance I end up beating his time with like three or four seconds.
I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.
I really like just super dry comedy.
In a perfect world, everybody would be gay. I mean if everybody looked like Zach Braff, you just wouldn’t be able to resist.
I think a lot of people are drawn to seeing people that want to be better. We see it in ourselves.
I had a very funny family.
Everyone has a warped vision of Hollywood and what success in Hollywood is like.
I know every politician spins the truth a little.