Greed can overtake smart.
New rule: Tulips aren’t flowers. They’re some kind of gay onion.
Republicans stand by their convictions. Stupid, ignorant, world-destroying convictions based on disproven economic fantasies and ancient books full of primitive morality and magic people. But convictions, nonetheless.
Romney, Gingrich, Santorum spent their week lecturing America about the morality of birth control. You know, you guys don’t need birth control, you are birth control.
New Jersey Mayor Corey Booker last night personally rescued a woman from a burning building. Or as Fox News reported it, ‘black man loots house, steals white woman.’
That’s what’s so great about the Internet. It allows pompous blow-hards to connect with other pompous blow-hards in a vast circle-jerk of pomposity.
The only way for mankind to survive is for religion to die.
I don’t do heroin myself, but it’s done wonders for my music collection.
Do you want to know why marijuana is illegal? Because the drug companies want marijuana to be illegal. You see, if it came down to Prozak versus Marijuana, Prozak would lose.
All I did was tell the truth. That’s is what the whole show is about! And if Politically Incorrect has to go down for it, so be it!
No politician is perfect. But in every election in your life, there will be one choice that is better than the others. Go out and vote for that one.
When you hear a lobby called Partnership for a Drug-Free America, just remember – they do not want a drug free America. They want an America free of drugs that are their competitors.
I feel terrible for a Palestinian child who dies. But, if it’s your father, your brother or your uncle who was firing those rockets into Israel, whose fault is it really? Do you really expect the Israelis not to retaliate?
White people have always shown their superiority over blacks with their feet, moving out of black neighborhoods with the fear that their kids will turn into one of them. And now, through the magic of MTV, damned if it didn’t turn out that way!
There’s a word the teabaggers have wanted to use since Obama came on the scene, but they can’t because it’s not the 1950s. They would love to say this word. It begins with an N and ends with -er, and it’s not nation-builder.
Republicans look to find the future and they find radio.
The food is out of this world!
When sex is good theres nothing better, when its bad its not bad.
Like it or not, we’re still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.
Tiger Woods apologized to the three women in America he never got around to sleeping with.