No politician is perfect. But in every election in your life, there will be one choice that is better than the others. Go out and vote for that one.
When you hear a lobby called Partnership for a Drug-Free America, just remember – they do not want a drug free America. They want an America free of drugs that are their competitors.
I feel terrible for a Palestinian child who dies. But, if it’s your father, your brother or your uncle who was firing those rockets into Israel, whose fault is it really? Do you really expect the Israelis not to retaliate?
White people have always shown their superiority over blacks with their feet, moving out of black neighborhoods with the fear that their kids will turn into one of them. And now, through the magic of MTV, damned if it didn’t turn out that way!
There’s a word the teabaggers have wanted to use since Obama came on the scene, but they can’t because it’s not the 1950s. They would love to say this word. It begins with an N and ends with -er, and it’s not nation-builder.
Republicans look to find the future and they find radio.
The food is out of this world!
When sex is good theres nothing better, when its bad its not bad.
Like it or not, we’re still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.
Tiger Woods apologized to the three women in America he never got around to sleeping with.
Canadian bacon isn’t bacon. It’s ham.
If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?
We don’t like mystery. You like mystery, ’cause it’s not a mystery to you; you know when you’re gonna get laid.
Obama is huge in the polls these days. His popularity is soaring. Even conservatives are coming around. 30 percent of them now believe Obama deserves a Green Card.
I think girls hate each other, no doesn’t always mean no, you have to lie to stay married, women’s sports are boring and the Olympics are gay.
There are people who think everything is a conspiracy and I think they’re crazy.
God makes trees, he doesn’t write books.
Jesus is not a candle. A company in South Dakota is selling candles with the scent of Jesus. You light one and your friends says, Christ, what’s that smell?
Anyone who is elected mayor of a place called Sin City is allowed to be a drunk.
How can the Republicans get away with picking their Dennis Kucinich, but when – if the Democrats tried it, all hell would break lose?