I believe in God, I just give him more credit than being a single parent and an author.
I don’t hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is to realistically criticize what’s wrong with it.
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid.
Whoever needs the relationship less has all the power.
If you’re living hand-to-mouth, and still buying into the con that the big threats to America are socialized medicine, Mexican immigrants and tax increases, then you’re not being kept down by the rich. You’re being kept down by you.
New Rule: Someone has to tell Francesco Schettino that embracing a callous policy of “every man for himself” doesn’t make you a sea captain. It makes you the Republican nominee.
If the Hamas people had the opportunity, they would kill the maximum number of Israelis, which would be all. And, Israel has the opportunity to kill way more, and they do not.
In Republican fantasy world, everything is always Obama’s fault. Somehow, he’s weak and he’s ineffective, and yet he pulls the strings on everything in the world.
The unemployment rate is now at 9.2%, which is scary, because experts say 9.5 is the point at which people are desperate enough to consider Michele Bachmann.
I think Mitt Romney is a symptom. I think the problem is the Republican Party.
I understand we’re on our way to being a Third World country. Could we just stop at ‘Second World’ before we get there?
To give you an idea how slowly we are leaving Afghanistan, Afghans don’t refer to us anymore as ‘infidel crusaders.’ They refer to us as ‘Irish relatives.’
The Senate decided they will be smoke-free. They ordained that all public areas in the Senate are now smoke-free. However, the senators themselves will still be allowed to blow smoke up each other’s asses.
Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
When we make mistakes they call it evil.
Doctors said that the test most commonly used to screen for colon cancer doesn’t go far enough. They’re recommending a procedure that involves photographing the entire colon. I say, don’t vie CBS an idea for another reality show.
New Rule: Someone must x-ray my stomach to see if the Peeps I ate on Easter are still in there, intact and completely undigested. And I’m not talking about this past Easter. I’m talking about the last time I celebrated Easter, in 1962.
If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?
It would be kind of a tragedy if we got to the end of four years of Democratic rule without having really tried any Democratic policies.
The idea that I hear from the right wing in the last few decades, is that any sort of sacrifice is an affront to my liberty as an American to be a pig the way I want to.