The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’
I know climate change is a hoax – of course – but places that have never seen this type of winter weather got hit by it. More than a half a million southerners have been left in the dark – and then the storm hit.
If there is such a thing as karma, let’s hope that Sarah Palin comes back as a wolf being shot at from a plane.
Jesus, as a philosopher is wonderful. There’s no greater role model, in my view, than Jesus Christ. It’s just a shame that most of the people who follow him and call themselves Christians act nothing like him.
Republicans have become the party of red, white and blue rose colored glasses. By drowning out criticism with USA! USA!, they prevent this country from healing itself where it needs healing, and that is the opposite of Country First.
Religion is defined as belief in and worship of a controlling power and atheism is precisely not that.
North Korea has the same ability to launch a nuclear strike against America as I do. It’s like walking through a parking lot and getting barked at by a chihuahua locked in a car.
Cleavage is to a man what power is to a woman.
Of course, there are questions that plague all of us. How did we get here? What happens when we die? Is there a heaven? Am I on the list? Who let the dogs out?
The country has become much more conservative, partly because it’s been taken over by the religious right.
Jim Bakker spells his name with two k’s because three would be too obvious.
The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.
I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won’t say it.
To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who’s your real friend? It’s the person who tells you the truth. That’s who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that.
I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.
If it weren’t for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.
When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
Obama is not a secret Kenyon, or a secret Muslim, he’s a secret Republican.
You would think there is a higher bar than having a Facebook page to run for president.